281

This morning I weigh 281.

Already I am struggling with the posting of all I consumed yesterday. How on earth do people do this, honestly? Why does food have so much power?

My usual coffee shake for breakfast

Lunch: Seasoned hamburger, 1/2 avocado, salsa, shredded mexican cheese, in 2 lc tortilla wraps

Dinner: Salad (romaine, carrots, 1/2 avocado, caesar dressing), grilled pork loin

2 Margaritas

4 large spoonsful of peanut butter (definitely ate this in a compulsive sort of "have to have it!" manner

TGIF

282.5
No surprise
Weight varies day by day
It's ok it's ok

Thought about it and decided to post my food, too. So now that's my newest new habit, posting everything I eat. I guess I need to make friends with the concept of "accountability"...

Yesterday:
Breakfast: Coffee shake (2 C skim milk, 3 splenda, 2 T instant coffee crystals, 1 t ff/sf white chocolate pudding mix (dry), 1 T half and half, 1 t vanilla whey protein powder.
Lunch: 2 hot dogs and about 1.5 C baked beans, comice pear , 1 glass of sweet tea
Dinner: Salad - lettuce and carrots and 1/4 shredded italian cheese, caesar dressing
1.5 pieces of panko breaded baked tilapia with melted gruyere, 3 T sauce (mayo/mustard/milk)
Snack: fresh berries (raspberries, strawberries, blueberries) with 1 tsp Framboise and a big blob of sugar free whipped cream

I'm out of sweet tea and I'm out of sugar. Let's see if I can get through Friday without it.

282

Down 1/2 pound from yesterday. 282. Last night my hu sband wanted to go out for pizza. The very first thing I thought was that I'd have to 'confess' here that I ate a small pizza last night. I knew I couldn't just eat 1 or 2 pieces, because, well, you know.

When I looked at the menu, I saw something I'd never seen there before - stuffed portobello mushrooms. So that was my dinner and wow it was delicious and satisfying. Two portobello mushroom caps stuffed with fresh spinach, feta, sundried tomatoes, mozzarella - broiled and served on a bed of field greens and drizzled with balsamic vinagrette. Oh, and plus a 1/2 slice of my spouse's sausage pizza.

Plus sweet tea. Yeah, I had 4 glasses of sweet tea yesterday , altogether. I know I have to address this but not today, not today.

I am thinking about my next new habit...to add to "blog every day" and "drink a bottle of water every morning" and "go to the gym 5 days a week". Maybe "track my actual food consumption on the blog"? GOD that would be freaking painful on my more obsessive days. But I'll think about it.

282.5

Of course I wait until I return home from the gym to weigh myself. I may have sweated off a few ounces after all. So today is 282.5.

Last night I had to run to Target for some bleach. The only thing that kept me from buying and consuming some little mountain of sweets was knowing that I had to blog my weight this morning....that was my first blog success, for sure.

So back to my list....blog every morning; drink a bottle of water every morning; and um....it's time for another guideline. Another component to this all-made-up bullshit diet/lifestyle thing I'm doing. Something I can commit to doing; something healthy and positive; something....

I've never been successful following "diets', from Weight Watchers to Low Carb to South Beach to Low Fat. I'm a cheater, a big lazy cheater. So I'm trying to figure out what is going to be healthy for me, based on all my years of actually eating food, and what I'll actually agree to do.

So...blog every morning; water every morning; and and and ok, well , let's commit to exercise. Exercise 5 days a week. I just started going to the gym on Monday, so today is day 3. I use the treadmill and the elliptical. Yeah, let's make that another healthy commitment. Excercise 30 minutes a day for 5 days a week.

Ok, I'm good with that.

Yeah, the facing-it part

Another morning, another hop up onto the scale. Well, not hop exactly. Step gingerly, more like.

284.6

Today I weigh 284.6 pounds.

So, my new habit 1 was FACING IT and recording this every day. Every day.

My new habit 2 is DRINKING A BOTTLE OF WATER after breakfast. That's all. Not 8 cups a day, not replace all beverages with water, but just -- drink a bottle of water after breakfast. Ok. I started.

Ohhhh Yeah

286

Pounds, that is.

I weigh 286 pounds.

Now, 306 was my all time high. And 160 was my post-college low.

But seriously, 286. Who WEIGHS that much???

Oh wait. I do. Me. 286.

My huge stomach is like a suitcase I carry around everywhere. It's heavy. Stairs are hard now. I'm on blood pressure medicine. It's hard to get up from chairs. Yes, rising from a chair is hard for someone who weighs 286 and has a stomach like a suitcase - a big soft squishy suitcase.

I've become that hugely obese middle-aged woman, that Gilbert Grape mom, that poor white Appalachian stereotype, that lives-for-food sad sack of a droopy blobby woman.

New habit #1: I am going to post my weight every day and if I don't have access to a scale that day, I will post my old weight. Every day, I will be accountable to this computer, this blog. In this way I am forcing myself to at the very least FACE THIS daily.

3/16-17/10 Low Carb Menu

3/17/10

Gosh, it's been a while since posted. And it's been a while since I've been consistent on my low carb plan. But I went to the gym today. Second day in a row. Treadmill. 5am.

Breakfast: Coffee protein shake (1 T instant coffee powder, 1 T splenda, 1 Tff/sf white chocolate pudding mix, 1.5 cups skim milk, 1/2 scoop whey protein powder)

Lunch: 5 slices of bacon, 1.5 slices of american cheese, 1T mayo, low carb wrap, 1/2 cucumber, 1 piece of celery, 2T hummus

Dinner: Cheese and pepperoni and sauce from 1/2 of a large pizza

3/16/10
Breakfast: Coffee protein shake

Lunch: Tuna salad in a low carb wrap with swiss cheese

Dinner: Salad of Romaine, celery, cheese, cucumbers, roasted chicken with blue cheese dressing

Snack: 1 apple with swiss cheese

Hm. I seem to eat a lot of cheese.